the drive home

we made the decision after
rocky mountain national park
to just drive home

there is really nothing to see
in nebraska and iowa so why not just drive
straight through for about 23 hours

my dad was a trooper and drove for about four hours
through most of colorado
i took over just before the nebraska border
i found the tigers/yankees game
and had to keep jumping channels as it went in and out

i was making good time with the cruise control
when all of sudden there were lights in my back window
i was pissed since i was not speeding

the state trooper was of course a real dick
he threw a hissy fit when we couldnt find the registration
claimed i was above the limit
i told him but i had the cruise on

he made me go sit in his cruiser
while interogated my dad
when he came back
he was a real asshole with me
i felt like he was pushing my buttons to get a reaction
i somehow kept my mouth shut
finally after an enternity
he says he is going to do me a favor
and just give me a warning
well no shit we both knew i wasnt speeding

so i ask him
what did you clock me at since the cruise was on
he says oh you were honest about that
yeah i was
so mumbles 77

first he is a liar
second seriously 77 in a 75
what a jackass

so he gives me license back
and i said can i have my insurance card
i dont have that he says all dickish
well what is that on your dashboard
of course it was my card and my dads license

i got printed warning of excessive speed
no mention it was a 77 in a 75
jackass

i was so pissed
i vowed not to spend a dime in nebraska
it is a big f-ing state
i made it to iowa hours later with 11 miles to e
would have pushed my car across the state line
before i bought gas in nebraska

dad took over
and i few hours later he got pulled over
i was like seriously you were going 67
he says well the sign said 55

this cop took one look
knew the score
he didnt ask for my license
and when i said i couldnt find the registration
he asked whose car was it
i said it was my mine

comes back a few minutes later
warns my dad to keep it down and to get home safe
no ticket

may iowa always beat nebraska in football for the rest of time

i took back over a little before the illinois border
bought gas outside joliet
and dad insisted we eat at dennys

it took forever
waitress took money off the bill

i kept driving but about 45 min later
i was done and couldnt kept my eyes open

dad made it through chicago and half of indiana
i took over and drove the rest of the way home

in the end my trip went 8,571 miles
i passed the warranty on my new car as the trip started at 8,000 miles
and now sits at 16,571